Tomorrow I will be sitting in a tin can popping diazepam like candy flying to San Francisco to visit my sister, Lo, for what has become my annual vacation. There are many things of great importance which we plan to accomplish, and as you can imagine, the discussions on the order of events has been extensive.
For instance, I wish to learn how to needlepoint. Now, do we go to the needlepoint store and the yarn store, and if we go to both, which one should come first? Initially we decided to do the needlepoint store first because if we started at the yarn store I would no doubt be penniless by the time we went to the needlepoint store. In fact, the temptation of the yarn store is such a risk to the entire fledgling needlepoint enterprise that we have decided to skip the yarn store entirely. If I were to buy both a knitting and a needlepoint project, the needlepoint could fall to the wayside, eclipsed by the bright, inviting beacon that is knitting.
I'm fond of referencing the Schlieffen Plan when describing a complicated enterprise, but its application has never been more appropriate than in this situation. Lo and I will not make Kaiser Wilhelm II's mistake: if knitting is Paris and needlepoint is St. Petersburg, we will not even attempt to have lunch in Paris, and expect to make it to St. Petersburg for dinner.
Yes, you read that right. We are not going to Paris the yarn store.
On the other hand: while I do intend to purchase a needlepoint project and learn how to "basketweave," I cannot become overly interested in needlepoint and must maintain an amateurish level of skill. My sister has already blurted, "You're going to take over needlepoint the way you took over knitting, and took over Mad Men, and Orange is the New Black!"
As the little sister I did not think I had the power to take over anything. But apparently the forum of Knitters-Knitters has made me expansive in my enthusiasm for things I find like. I hereby vow to enjoy needlepoint, but in a calm and semi-detached manner.
Also on the agenda are a mani/pedi, and a day-trip to Fresno to see Rachel, Victor, and my grand-nephew, Diego! It's funny: whenever I tell someone that I am a great-aunt, I always expect them to insist that I am far too young to be a great-aunt.
This has yet to happen.
I promise to return to Knitters-Knitters on Monday with cute baby pictures to share, and you all do your part by insisting that I am far too young to be a great aunt. Deal?